Rivals
by Nurse Betty Page
Summary: After a love drug is introduced to a party at Madame Vastra's, the Doctor and Clara have odd memories of what happened - but do know Missy is involved. Then Clara has a huge shock as the consequences of Missy's actions become apparent - Missy's plot will change lives forever, and the innocent victim caught up in this is a child who resulted from a certain one night stand...
1. Chapter 1

**Rivals**

 **Author Note: This fic is AU and pairs 12/Clara.**

* * *

 **Summary:**

 **After a potent love drug is introduced to the atmosphere at a party held at the house of Madame Vastra, the Doctor wakes up next to Clara but recalls nothing of the passion she remembers - all he recalls is a horrible nightmare about trying to fight off Missy...**

 **After the party, conversation is awkward between the Doctor and Clara - as he considers that perhaps he ought to have made their first attempt at closeness so much more meaningful. They decide to leave the subject alone, but both Clara and the Doctor have strange flashbacks,making each silently wonder what _really_ happened that night.**

 **Then a few weeks later, after becoming separated from the Doctor, Clara has a mysterious blackout and can remember nothing of why - knowing only that Missy has mysteriously found her, and is keen to reunite her with the Doctor, and on seeing him again, Missy seems _very_ keen that they draw a line under the past and part on good terms...**

 **While the Doctor cautiously welcomes the chance to shake hands and agree to peace with his long time enemy, Clara wonders why Missy is so desperate to win the Doctor's trust. But she is yet to learn the truth:**

 ** _Missy has done something truly wicked, and could possibly destroy her own life and sanity because of her selfish actions..._**

* * *

 **Rated T**

 **Warnings: Just a few. Some adult situations and themes. Emotive story line regarding unplanned pregnancy.**

 **Disclaimer:I own nothing but my love of the fandom.**

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Chapter 1

 _'There's a stranger in my bed,_  
 _There's a pounding in my head_  
 _Glitter all over the room_  
 _Pink flamingos in the pool_  
 _I smell like a mini bar_  
 _DJs passed out in the yard_  
 _Barbie's on the barbecue_  
 _Is this a hickey or a bruise...?'_

 _~ Last Friday Night, Katy Perry_

Clara Oswald woke up with a headache. As she looked up at the ceiling of the bedroom and then looked around the Victorian room, she recalled where she was.

 _Oh yes._

The Doctor had taken her to a party at the home of Madame Vastra.

It had started off as a very civilised affair, and she had been sitting on the sofa in the front room and the Doctor had been talking to her and suddenly...

 _What had happened?_

It was coming back to her, but only in pieces:

The house had been full of guests, all human, all from the Victorian era that Vastra so loved. Jenny had been serving drinks to guests, and Clara had seen Vastra exchange a look of love with her as her wife smiled, and thoughts of her own love began to trouble her as she had looked to the Doctor and wondered if tonight she ought to dare to tell him how she _really_ felt about him.

It had seemed like a good time to make that move, until the Doctor had said something about perhaps they ought to take another train ride together, and hastily added, not _that_ Orient express, not again it would hardly be romantic - and she had laughed, and then coughed, and the room and turned a shade of purple...

Clara had brought her hand up to her throat and glanced down at her Victorian attire as she wondered if perhaps it had been a bad idea to wear a tight corset beneath the gown - but when she had put it on she had imagined later, the possibility of the Doctor freeing her from it and then his hands straying over her body...She was still thinking it as she coughed again and looked at him, partly wondering why she was choking in a purple mist, and partly wondering how the hell she could feel so aroused at a time like this...

"I can't breathe properly..." she had said, and coughed again.

The Doctor had sat up straight on the seat and looked around, he coughed a couple of times and then had no more trouble with the haze in the air.

" _It can't be..."_ he said, looking around and taking in the sight of people kissing, touching, fondling, already a couple were on the floor beside a window, partly covered in the long drapes that hung there as they rolled on the floor together. _This party was rapidly turning into an orgy._

"Someone's put some Zastrara gas into the atmosphere..."

" _What is it?"_

Clara had to ask him twice as the Doctors gaze momentarily fixed on the sight of Vastra's long tongue flickering up Jenny's neck as she leant against the open doorway and laughed, then pulled her lizard wife closer for a kiss.

"It's a love drug," the Doctor replied as he looked from the sight of sex everywhere and focussed on Clara, "It's banned on many planets...all it takes is a small canister released into the air and, well... _this_ happens..."

"I think I feel okay now," Clara had said, blinking as the world seemed to move in slow motion and the feeling was seductively _nice._

"Stay here," the Doctor had told her, "I need to find out who did this..."

Clara had looked up at him as he rose from his seat and smiled, feeling drunk and warm and hazy.

"It's not such a bad thing," she murmured, "Do you know I love you?"

The Doctor had looked at her in surprise, and then she had seen a soft expression in his eyes.

"I feel the same," he had said,"But not here,not now. Not like this. I won't be gone long."

And she had blinked:

 _The Doctor had left the room._

People were kissing and touching and some were half undressed. And she was slipping into a sleep, and she thought of the Doctor again and then smiled as she closed her eyes.

Next thing she recalled was opening her eyes again and getting up, then stepping over people on the floor, trying not to notice many were naked, trying not to think about it because she wanted the Doctor...

 _She wanted him so badly._

It was as if the drug had switched her on and all it would take was one touch from him, and she would explode with need...

Her head had felt heavy and dizzy as she headed for the stairs.

 _Then they had collided._

He had said something about how she ought to be sleeping upstairs away from the harmful substance in the air, because she was coughing again, a clear sign the gas was irritating her lungs.

He had taken her hand and helped her up the stairs.

And Clara was could not recall much else:

Struggling with him as he led her to her door.

He had _tried_ to be a gentleman.

But _she_ had insisted.

She had told him _exactly_ what she wanted.

Clara recalled gripping on to his jacket tightly as she buried her face against it:

" _Do it, take me!"_

She had really said that, she had really begged him, and he had obliged...

Clara couldn't recall what happened right after that.

She remembered getting up again, alone, crossing the hallway and colliding with a woman, who had looked at her with interest.

" _Having fun, are we?"_ she had said, and Clara had blinked, seen the face of Missy, given a gasp, stumbled backwards, and through an open bedroom doorway. Then she had got on to the bed, and closed her eyes,wondering why everything was so confusing and strange.

She wasn't sure exactly _when_ the Doctor had put his arms around her, but then she had turned around and pressed her face against his chest, run her hands over it, and the thought had run through her mind, she had wondered why he smelled _different_ now – not like the scent he had given off when they had made passionate love...or had it just been rough sex?

She didn't know or care, because then sleep had claimed her again...

 _It was all too confusing._

Clara thought about the sequence of events again:

 _The room turning purple._

 _The party becoming an orgy._

 _The Doctor leaving her._

 _Going upstairs, bumping into him again..._

 _Sex._

 _Then wandering in a daze, encountering Missy..._

 _Had that really been Missy?_

 _Did this stuff cause hallucinations?_

 _That part had to be a bad trip..._

Clara still felt slightly dizzy from the gas even though it was morning and the air had cleared. And as she turned over she breathed a relieved sigh to see she had _definitely_ found the Doctor last night...He was still beside her, and as he shifted nearer to her, put his arm around her and then pulled her closer, he opened his eyes. Then a look a of alarm registered on his face, and he stared at her.

"That _really_ happened?"

"Yes," Clara replied, "It did."

And he hesitated for a moment, thinking on his vague recollections of the night before.

"I remember you told me you loved me," he said quietly, "And I really didn't want to move things along so fast. Not like _this_. Who ever used that gas last night is in a _lot_ of trouble with me."

And he let go of her, and Clara barely had time to enjoy the sight of his naked body before he turned his back on her, sat on the edge of the bed and hastily reached for his clothing.

"What do you remember about last night?" Clara asked.

He glanced over his shoulder at her as he rushed to put his clothes back on.

Clara was barely covered by the bed sheet and he longed to reach for her - but those thoughts had to wait. This was _not_ the way he would have planned their first time, not under the influence of an alien street drug...

"I recall very little," he told her, and then he continued to dress, with his back to her as he thought about a night that seemed to consist of tripped out fragments, images that he could barely put back together- and the memories he did recall, he wanted to forget - because none of it was good...

"Maybe I should come with you -"

"No," the Doctor said as he stood poised to open the bedroom door, his gaze lingering on the sight of Clara so obviously naked beneath the sheets, and then he tore his gaze away from her body and focussed on her eyes.

Clearly for her, the drug had caused a hangover. For him there was no such problem - just a poor recollection of the evening, which was common after being exposed to the gas, but she was human and needed to rest, and that was just fine with him, because he was troubled by thoughts he couldn't speak of aloud, let alone share with Clara...

Why not?" Clara asked him, "Something happened last night - someone spiked the party with a sex drug and turned it into an orgy. You said it was an alien gas. All her guests were human, right? So it wasn't a genuine guest. I wonder who crashed the party?"

"I don't know," he told her, "But I'm okay now - and _you_ look awful. Go back to sleep, Clara. I need to speak with Madame Vastra."

Clara gave a sigh and flopped back down looking irritated by his words, but as soon as her head hit the pillow she was glad to be there, he saw it in her eyes.

"I'll be back soon," he promised, and then the Doctor left her to sleep.

* * *

As he closed the bedroom door the doctor breathed a heavy sigh, feeling glad to be away from Clara and her questions, because he had enough of his own that needed answers. Then he took a walk down the upper hallway, paused to look over the balcony as he heard Vastra sharply order Strax to throw out some lingering guests, and then he passed a doorway to another bedroom - it was a guest room much like the one he had woken up in with Clara, but as he lingered in the open doorway, he looked to the messed up sheets and then he recalled he had entered this room the night before...and he had _not_ been alone...

The Doctor went into the bedroom, stood there for a moment and then walked over to a mirror that stood on the dresser. He leant on the dresser as he studied the room reflected behind him, and then in the blink of an eye it flooded his mind all over again, a rapid chain of events:

 _The room had turned purple._

 _Clara was almost knocked out by the potency of the gas. There were a few more people affected as she was, but others were already pairing off and having sex on the floor. He had left her, taken a look outside, but seen no sign of anything or anyone suspicious._

 _Then when he had seen Vastra and Jenny groping on the stairway before Vastra had taken the hand of her wife and led her off to bed, the Doctor had decided it was time to find Clara and get out, get her back to the Tardis - because he was getting high too now, and he didn't want to be high, not like this, not on the night she had told him she loved him._

 _And he wanted to find her, but instead, he had found..._

There it was, the memory was sharp now and he couldn't change it...In that moment he knew the rest of his recollections had been no drug induced nightmare. The Doctor looked into the mirror, deep into his own eyes as he recalled who had stood at the top of the stairway and beckoned to him...

Now his pale blue gaze blazed with fury.

" _Missy!"_ he said in anger.

* * *

While Clara slept off the last of the effects of the gas, the Doctor stood in the downstairs hallway, saying nothing as Madame Vastra angrily spoke of her humiliation.

"My home was turned into some kind of depraved... _brothel_!" she exclaimed, "I want the person responsible found!"

"We found this," Jenny added, handing an empty gas canister to the Doctor.

He thanked her for it, held it in his hand and studied it.

"I found another near the front door," he replied, and then as Vastra and Jenny angrily spoke of the terrible shock of what had happened, the Doctor was feeling a shock of his own:

Missy had taken him to that bedroom last night. She had told him she would explain everything, but then he fell back on to the bed and she was on top of him, she forced a kiss on him and as her hands wandered, he could no longer fight the effects of the gas.

He had _tried_.

But the way she tugged at his clothing and ran her hands over his exposed flesh aroused him instantly, and then as she playfully pinned him down and demanded he give in to her, all her words did was add to arousal he couldn't control, and suddenly, he had _wanted_ it to happen...

Yet he had also wanted to _fight_ it...

Had Missy had seduced him?

All he could recall was that he had turned his face away as she tried to kiss him again.

" _Get out!"_ he had said bitterly...

And she had left.

 _And he felt used..._

"Doctor," said Vastra, "I asked you a question?"

The Doctor drew in a deep breath, breathing out slowly as he fought off a wave of nausea and wondered if it was down to the gas or the fact that Missy had drugged him for a purpose that was only too clear.

"Who ever did this is long gone by now," he said dismissively as he hid the truth, "And at least the majority of your human guests won't recall much of what happened last night – some will dismiss it as a dream, others will be too ashamed to speak of it openly – remember this is Victorian England. That much goes in favour of saving your reputation. I'm sorry I couldn't find the culprit last night. I should go and check on Clara, we should be leaving soon."

He turned for the stairs.

"Doctor?"

As he glanced back, Vastra looked at him apologetically.

"This will never happen again," she assured him, "I shall put security measures in place in future. I can only apologise."

"This wasn't your fault," he assured her, and then he went back up the stairs, his mind a swirl of confusion as he wondered how to handle the situation he was faced with :

 _Clara had told him that she loved him._

If the circumstances had been better, this ought to be the start of a new and happy chapter in both their lives. But he barely recalled what had happened last night:

 _Had he slept with Missy?_

 _Had he slept with the woman who had been his lifelong enemy?_

 _There could never have been a time when he would have found her attractive or arousing, or wanted to form a close friendship with her, let alone allow for intimacy to happen._

 _He knew he could have easily fought her off._

 _But the drug had got to him and he had to assume he had given into that influence. How could he look Clara in the eye and tell her he loved her too, after what had just happened with Missy?_

Maybe she would understand, but it wasn't something he planned on talking about. It was a subject he wanted to leave alone, to move on from, to forget about. And he knew it would be a while before he would be able to get close to Clara, to talk of love, and to move their friendship closer and turn it into a relationship.

All he wanted to do now was leave, take Clara with him and pretend last night had never happened. He would never speak of it and he hoped in time, perhaps he might even be able to forget - at least enough to feel like he hadn't cheated on Clara on the night Vastra's party had been hijacked...

 _And so the Doctor and Clara departed in the Tardis._

 _But neither could talk about the party, because they both knew something was very wrong, and the memories were yet to fall into place..._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 **Just a quick warning :** **This chapter mentions/suggests the possibility of non consensual sex and abortion.**

Several days passed by, and that time was awkward.

The Doctor was strangely quiet and Clara also, because her dreams had comprised of strange flashbacks to moments she wished she could forget.

If the Doctor had dreams also, he wasn't about to share them...

As she approached him in the console room, Clara paused, watching as he thoughtfully moved his hand over controls, but did little to them. He was deep in thought, and the excuse of being at the console was the perfect reason to stay that way, his back turned in silence...

Clara broke that silence as she joined him.

" _We need to talk about what happened."_

The Doctor turned to her.

"Why? A substance was introduced into the air that made everyone loved up. Even you. Not so much me, I've had experience of that stuff before and it's never worked very well on me at all. Gives me headaches."

"When was this?"

"Years ago," he replied, "Too far back to remember."

" _I thought I saw Missy."_

Now she had his attention.

He met her gaze as his expression changed and a troubled look briefly clouded his eyes.

"Me too, but what motivation would she have? I'm sure she has bigger plans than crashing a party and then leaving again."

Clara thought about it.

"You think I imagined her?"

"If you did, so did I, but it still means nothing," the Doctor replied, and he turned back to the console. Clara reached out and placed her hand on the sleeve of his crimson lined jacket.

"Doctor, _talk_ to me!"

He looked at her again, this time sharply.

"There's nothing to talk about. Write it off as a rough night, forget about it. I have."

Clara frowned.

"No," she said to him, "I can't, because I can see it in your eyes - you're worried, and I want to know why."

The Doctor gave a sigh.

"Oh Clara, what's the point in me trying to brush it under the carpet? I'm sorry if I've been distant. I _do_ remember what you said to me and _yes_ I feel the same- but I think something happened at the party and it's kind of put my plans for us on hold until I can forget about the whole sorry affair."

Clara looked at him intently.

"What's this about?"

"That night," he replied, now resigned to telling the truth, because it threatened to ever stand between them if he didn't set it free and be done with it, "I was starting to go under the influence of the drug. Then I think Missy trapped me in a bedroom and came on to me. I didn't want her, but my body was telling me otherwise because of the gas. I remember I fought her. I know she was angry when she left. The rest is all a blank."

He saw no anger in Clara's eyes, and that came as a huge relief – she understood, of course she did...

"She tried to... _force_ you?"

"I think so."

"But you can't remember?"

He gave a heavy sigh.

"After breathing in that stuff I'm amazed we even found each other again when we slept it off, Clara!"

And then he paused for thought, and looked intently at her again.

"Tell me about _your_ memories."

Those wide eyes of hers had just got slightly wider, making the Doctor wonder what she was holding back.

"I remember seeing Missy...bumped into her upstairs. Then she was gone. And I remember finding you...when I got up from the sofa, when I went out the hallway – I bumped into you and I felt dizzy so I grabbed hold of your jacket. You wanted to take me upstairs to get me away from the gas, but I wanted you to come with me. You _know_ what happened next."

She stopped right there, looking at him with a flash of guilt in her eyes.

"Sorry I was so ... _forceful._ You tried so hard to be a gentleman, but I begged you and so you gave in."

The Doctor leant on the console, briefly pausing to search through fragments of memory.

"No," he said, "That's not right. I was downstairs searching the grounds for the gas canisters. Clara, I think you should put that night out of your thoughts. Leave it behind."

"But I don't know what happened to me!"

"I think you do," he replied, "You were influenced by the love drug and -"

"Did what, _grabbed a random_?" she said angrily, "I am not like that, I just don't do things like that!"

"And I don't find myself in a position where I'm trying to fight off Missy in a bedroom, but that happened too," he replied, "Drop it, Clara. Let's move on."

And he looked at her and smiled. It was that smile that said to her he was desperately trying to make her leave it be...

" _Can you?"_

"What?" he asked.

"Move on?"

His smile faded.

"I intend to," he replied, "And then when this memory has faded, I want to move on to us, you and me – and a happier future. How does that sound?"

Clara met his gaze and slowly nodded.

"I can go for that." she agreed reluctantly.

"Wonderful," he said to her as he threw a lever, "Then let's start moving on right now – the planet of Elara – the people are humanoid with just a trace of reptilian scales and rather beautiful too. It is a planet that has been peaceful for many centuries, and their markets are fascinating. Let's go out for a stroll."

He walked towards the door.

"But what about -"

He paused, looked back at her and forced a smile.

"Forget about the party," he said in a measured tone that told her he was trying hard not become angry, "Let's go, Clara. It's time to have a nice day and forget about that stupid night."

Clara crossed the console floor and headed towards the door to join the Doctor. Her heart felt heavy because it seemed they both had questions left unanswered, and the Doctor wasn't going to open up about it any time soon – perhaps he never would - and she didn't want to turn this into a quarrel. So they left the Tardis together, to spend some time on a peaceful planet, where a simple day wandering around street markets was the _only_ plan they had in mind.

* * *

After spending a couple of hours wandering around a vast market where the green eyed people dressed in colourful robes that seemed to compliment the rainbow shimmer on the scales that covered their arms, Clara was growing tired. The Doctor had bought her a necklace made of shimmering crystal beads and a scarf that was silken and an impossibly deep shade of turquoise, and then as they turned back, she looked to the end of the street, where the wider end opened up and saw tall and gleaming buildings.

"Wow, is that the city?" she asked.

"The people of this planet are of two halves," he told her, "The city dwellers and the simple folk who prefer the old ways. All live in complete harmony, though."

"Makes a change to visit such a peaceful place," she replied.

" _Ooh.._. supercharged batteries with a three hundred year life span..." he remarked, looking to a market stall that Clara had glanced at and decided was definitely one where the Doctor would spend _hours_ looking through gadgets and devices, "I must take a look a look over there!" he said enthusiastically.

Clara smiled.

"You do that Doctor. And don't wander off - I'm going back the other way to look at the silks again."

And she eyed him playfully.

"Stay where you are!" she said as amusement danced in her eyes, "Don't make me got to security to report a lost Timelord!"

And he smiled too.

"I'll try and be good!" he told her, and then as he headed over to the gadget stall, she turned back and walked to the other way, heading for the other end of the market.

* * *

 _The Doctor lost track of time._

By the time he did remember he had been too long, he put away the gadgets he had purchased, carefully packing them into a shiny silver carrier bag and then he turned around to apologise to Clara:

 _No Clara._

The Doctor started to worry.

"Clara?" he called, but as he looked about the bustling market place all he could see were locals. _Clara Oswald was no where to be seen._

Fighting down a flicker of panic, he took his phone from his jacket, walked away from the crowd towards the place where the wide alley opened up on to the streets of the city, and then he called her number.

It rang and rang and then he was ready to leave a message when it switched to voice mail, but suddenly the call was picked up.

"Oh Doctor thank goodness! I know how this looks but it's not what you think. I was here to look at a property and I ran into Clara. She was staggering, very dizzy. Poor girl fainted in my arms. I took her to the local med centre...it's that white building you can see across the road from the market place...She's fine. Although they did say she might want to steer clear of _recreational gasses_ in future, it was some kind of delayed reaction. Which I'm sorry about, by the way – but I had to get your attention some how. But apologies can wait - and she's fine now, she's with _me_ – you can speak to her, Doctor! Did you hear me?"

The Doctor's eyes widened as his gaze fixed on the tall white building across the busy road.

" _Missy?"_ he said angrily, _"What have you -"_

"I've done nothing!" she protested, "Oh, what's the point...here, speak to Clara!"

The Doctor's hearts were hammering hard against his chest as the phone was passed over, and Clara began to speak.

"Doctor?" she sounded dazed, "I'm okay...Missy ran into me...she helped me...I'm fine, there's no trap, nothing wrong...just come and pick me up."

The call ended.

The Doctor's pale blue eyes were wide as he looked again to the building across the street:

 _Missy was with her and there was no trap?There had to be a trap, because Missy was involved..._

* * *

The Doctor had gone into the medical centre, called Missy again and then taken the lift to the third floor, and as he rode in that lift, as each floor passed by, his anger rose with it.

By the time the doors opened, he was ready for a bitter confrontation.

And then he walked down the corridor, saw Missy sat beside Clara in a waiting area, and noticed the way Missy was speaking kindly to her. Then she saw the Doctor approaching, and guilt shaded her eyes.

"Sorry." she said as he joined hem, "The gas... all my fault. But I just wanted you to see what I see...Oh, what's the point? You're looking at me like you hate me!"

" _I wonder why."_ He said coldly, and then he looked in concern at Clara, who was sitting down looking rather dazed. She looked up at him and blinked tired eyes.

"I'm fine, I just need to rest...delayed reaction to the gas...Missy's apologised, please don't blame her - she actually _helped_ me!"

Missy rose from her seat, soothed the creases from her Victorian gown and looked into the Doctors eyes.

"This has to stop," she said, and he was surprised to hear such emotion in her voice. It was real, it cut to the bone, it wasn't faked...he knew her well enough to spot a lie and this was Missy, being honest - something that was very hard indeed to accept...

"What has to stop?" he said in a hushed voice as he stepped closer to his rival.

"That hate between us. I know how I've been, I know I've done wrong. But after that night at the house...even if you don't want me ...I...I can't help how I feel! I'm a woman now, it's all change for me! And I can forgive what you did because I _know_ how I feel in my hearts for you...this is _such_ a mess! "

There was still a glint of a touch of madness in her eyes, but everything else rang true, and it stunned him.

"You tried to _force_ yourself on to me!" he said in a hushed voice, "That's assault, Missy!"

Her eyes widened in alarm.

"Excuse me? I was unaffected by the gas. I took the antidote before I released the stuff! You're the one who pinned me down and took your _aggression_ out on me because the gas made it difficult for you to, how shall I say, _perform_?"

The Doctor stared at her.

"What? I did _what_ to you?"

" _Would you like to see the bruises?"_ she asked.

The Doctor briefly closed his eyes, then he shook his head and met her gaze once more, and saw deep hurt reflected there.

" _Yo_ u released a toxic substance into the air. You had no way of knowing that stuff would affect me in a volatile way and neither did I! _If_ I did anything against your will I can only apologise - and I'm mortified to think I would do such a thing but Missy, _you_ spiked the air! You turned everyone in that house into something they were not!"

He felt a flicker of alarm as Missy's eyes filled with tears.

"Takes a lot to break me, Doctor. _A lot_. But I've decided to draw a line under the past, all of it – let's call what you did to me a _victory_ , shall we? You finally reminded me who is in charge. That makes us even. I forgive you, and you forgive me. At least some good came of it."

"What do you mean, _some good_?" he demanded.

"Just know that I could not bear for us to part on bad terms now," she said, and she blinked away more tears, "Know that you have done _nothing_ that love can destroy."

The Doctor was utterly bewildered and it showed on his face as he looked at her, recalling only that she had angrily left the room, slamming the door behind her on that fateful night. He was torn between confusion and deep remorse to think he could have treated her so badly - if he had, it was unforgivable...

At the back of his mind, he was desperately trying to replay that night...her anger, the way she stormed out after trying so hard to turn him on...

 _Why had she been angry?_

 _Because he had been as vile as she claimed, or because the drug had got the better of him in another way, leaving him too wasted to perform?_

 _He didn't know. And the fact that he didn't know was the worst..._

 _The Doctor knew himself well enough._

 _He would never have forced himself on Missy or any other woman._

 _But under the influence of that drug?_

 _No one could truly be themselves on that stuff, not once it took over..._

The Doctor felt sick.

"Can we go now?" Clara said, and she looked pale and was a little unsteady as she got up.

The Doctor looked to Missy.

"I'm sorry," he said to her, "I can only apologise." And then he put his arm around Clara to steady her, and they walked away, heading for the lift.

* * *

The Doctor took Clara home.

He told her he would return in a few days, and left her to rest. And then he went off alone in the Tardis, just the Doctor and his blue box and all of time and space to give him the room he needed to breathe again and think and try and make sense of all Missy had told him.

He had never wanted more than now to hold Clara in his arms and tell her he loved her, but the thought of what he might have done to Missy held him back.

While it was true the two of them had both sensed a shift in their long story of shared animosity since Missy had become who she was, there was nothing there to ever suggest they would even be friends, let lone share a bed. And he knew he was not capable of doing what she had accused him of – yet he also knew the negative side of the love drug, because he had heard stories before that were much the same as Missy's.

He didn't want to believe it was true, and even after days of soul searching, he still had no clear answer...

* * *

It had been almost a week since he had left Clara.

His hearts ached for her, and so he returned. The Doctor's Tardis materialised at the end of the road beneath the shade of a tree just a short distance from Coal Hill School, then he waited until the working day was over, and then he called her.

 _Clara sounded fine now, and that came as a great relief._

Twenty minutes later, his twin hearts jumped with the sheer joy of seeing her again as she walked through the Tardis door and over to the console to join him.

"I've missed you!" she told him honestly, and then without warning she hugged him, he froze and laughed off his own embarrassment at freezing like that, and gave a her a quick squeeze back, before letting go and then throwing a lever, taking them back off into space, the place where he felt happiest, giving him a sense of total togetherness with her now – just him and Clara, in the Tardis again...

"How have you been?" The Doctor asked her.

"Fine," Clara replied, "I still feel a bit dizzy sometimes but it's going away now. You don't have to worry."

The Doctor looked at her knowingly.

"But I do," he admitted, and then he hit some buttons on the console.

"Don't move, I'm just scanning you."

"There's no need!"

He glanced at her, and she caught deep fondness in his eyes.

"There is, I want to be sure you're okay."

"But there's no need!" she insisted again.

Then the scan finished, and the Doctor looked down at the results.

"I told you," Clara said to him, "I'm fine. Now _stop_ worrying!."

But his back was still turned, as he looked again at the scan results, the shock of what he saw, and the pain that he felt at it, hit him unexpectedly.

"Doctor?" Clara joined him, looking down at a monitor in the language of Gallifrey, as she wondered what the alien swirls had spelled out. He was still looking at the screen. Now she was starting to worry.

"I'm fine, I told you!"

Then she frowned.

"At least, I _think_ I am? There's nothing wrong, is there?"

Finally the Doctor turned to her, and the look in his eyes was unreadable, but as he spoke, his voice was filled unmistakably with deepest hurt:

"I thought you could tell me anything," he said in a hushed voice, "I thought you would at least _know_ you could tell me anything, and know that I would have supported any decision you chose to make. _Why_ did you keep it from me, Clara?"

She stared at him.

"Keep what from you? I haven't kept anything from you...I don't understand?"

Now she could see it in his eyes, hurt that cut deep, and she had no clue why, but then as he spoke again, his words left her stunned:

"The scan picked up raised HCG levels. But precisely, those levels indicating you _were_ pregnant but are _not_ any more. We woke up together after that party. I don't remember what happened but it seems obvious, doesn't it? _Clara, I'm sure you had your reasons to terminate, but you could have at least told me. That was my baby, too_..."

Clara's jaw dropped as she stared at the Doctor.

She wanted to speak but for a moment, no words would come as her thoughts raced:

 _What baby?_

 _There had been no baby..._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Clara finally found her voice.

"Your machine is wrong, Doctor. I have _never_ been pregnant! And even if I had been, how would I have known after a matter of days? None of this makes sense!"

The Doctor frowned as he looked down at the screen once more.

"You're right," he agreed and as he looked back at her, this time she saw sincere apology in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I never should have jumped to conclusions. If that child was mine you wouldn't have known about it so soon. Obviously you did have sex with someone while I was looking for the gas canister. But even so, I'm here for you regardless - I wouldn't have turned my back because of what happened! I love you Clara, you know that. I would have supported any decision you made. If you wanted keep the baby I would have been willing to bring that child up as my own!"

She stared at him.

"I don't believe this! I just told you, I am _not_ and never have been pregnant!"

"Yes you have," he insisted, "The Tardis isn't wrong. You recently had a termination...Oh no, could this be some guy on Earth I don't know about?"

" _No because there is no one else!"_

The Doctor felt confused as he looked at her.

"But you were pregnant. And now you're not. How can this be if you know nothing about it?"

She shook her head.

"I don't know," she said, and couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine at the thought of it, "This makes no sense."

The Doctor stepped closer to her.

"Okay, let's try and figure this out. Tell me what happened at the party after I left you on the sofa."

She tried to think back, taking on the difficult task of putting together the pieces of a jigsaw of memories that had several pieces missing...

"You left me, I fell asleep -"

"Did anyone...do you think they might have _done something_ while you were sleeping?"

Anger flashed in her eyes.

"I wasn't sleeping _that_ deeply! No, of course not!"

"Okay, calm down, just try and think back."

She did, closing her eyes and recalling snatches of that night:

" _I bumped into you...grabbed your jacket, pulled you close...you told me you needed to take me upstairs away from the gas...we got upstairs and I grabbed you again, I begged you, I wanted you...it took a lot of persuading..."_

She opened her eyes.

"And by the way, don't take this the wrong way, Doctor, but you could have been a bit more gentle...I was aching for a few days afterwards... "

Utter confusion reflected in his eyes.

"Not you too – I _know_ I didn't hurt you, I could never hurt you. Missy maybe, I hope not, but given our past history...But no, _not_ you -"

Clara smiled as warmth shone in her eyes, and she quickly explained what she had meant:

"Not like that, I mean...you know, _big_ boys should be careful. Especially _very_ big ones?"

The Doctor blinked.

"As confident as I am with my _equipment_ I can assure you it's not _that_ big! Also size isn't everything, Clara!"

She giggled.

"But you knew how to excite me, I was sorry when it was over...I remember, I pushed my face against your jacket, I started crying...I said..."

 _Then it hit her._

She gave a gasp.

"I said.."

"Go on," the Doctor told her.

Clara's face had paled with shock.

"I said to him, _I'm sorry, I just wish you were the Doctor!_ Oh god, _who_ did I have sex with?"

Clara looked horrified.

The Doctor put his arms around her, gave her a brief hug even though he was not a hugger, and then let go again.

"Best if you forget about it," he said, and then he smiled that smile that told her he knew something but was holding it back.

"Don't," she warned him, "If you've worked something out, _tell_ me!"

His smile faded.

"I haven't yet," he admitted, "But I'm glad it wasn't me, not under those circumstances. Not under the influence of drugs. I still keep hoping Missy was lying about what I did to her – many centuries ago I experimented with that gas when I was going through a wild phase and all it did for me was make me unable to perform. I'm hoping it had that effect at the party too – I don't want to think _anything_ happened between me and Missy. But it might have. I can't remember."

Clara's eyes clouded with confusion.

"I was pregnant and now I'm not? I haven't had a miscarriage – my period isn't even due until next week!"

The Doctor fell silent as he looked down at the screen, and then he switched it off, but his gaze was still fixed on it as he ran thought the possibilities in his mind.

"We need to go back to Vastra's," he told her, "It could be worth asking if anyone saw anything suspicious, I know we didn't turn up anything before but that was the morning after the party, so it's worth a shot."

Clara said no more as he set the course for Victorian England, instead she tried again to think back, but could not get past the jacket and the way she had buried her face in it as she had told the man whose face she could not recall, how she had wished he was the Doctor...

* * *

On arriving in Victorian England, the Doctor had changed into his Victorian suit, and Clara had changed into a dress fitting of the period, and as she looked at him and thought how dashing he looked, she felt full of regret that she had gone with another man on that night.

"I want to apologise to you," she said to him as they approached the house of Madame Vastra.

The Doctor saw the look in her eyes and answered with deepest love.

"There's no need, Clara, " he assured her, "No need at all, there is nothing to forgive."

And then as he rang the bell, he had briefly paused to grip her hand and he then let go again.

Strax answered the door in his butler suit.

He looked to the Doctor and Clara, then let them in and closed the door behind them.

"The Doctor and Clara Oswald are here," he called out.

"Be with you in a minute!" Jenny called back from upstairs.

"May I take your coat, Doctor?" Strax asked in his usual brusque tone.

"No thanks. I'm not stopping long," the Doctor replied.

Then Strax turned to Clara.

"Do you wish me to take your coat?" he said sharply.

Then he smiled, adding, _"Girl."_

And the Doctor glanced at him, watching thoughtfully. The Sontaran usually confused human genders, calling Clara _boy_...

"You got it half right, Strax," Clara replied, "I am a girl. But I'm _not_ wearing a coat, so no you can't take it."

The Doctor saw Jenny at the top of the stairs, and he glanced back at Clara.

"I won't be a minute," he said, and he went up the stairs to ask a few questions, and as he spoke with her, he glanced back down the stairway to where Clara stood with the Sontaran butler...

* * *

Strax stepped closer to Clara and smiled.

She reluctantly smiled back.

"Could you not stand so close?" she asked him.

He glared at her.

"Human scum!" he barked, and then his expression softened, "Would you like some tea?" he asked pleasantly.

"No thanks," Clara replied.

Then she looked at him again.

She was looking, for some odd reason, to his jacket. A look of confusion came to her eyes, and then she shook her head.

" _We didn't..."_

Strax was puzzled.

"Didn't what, Clara?"

She shook her head.

 _What a silly thought, as if she would have..._

 _No, of course not!_

"Never mind," she replied quickly, recalling the cut of his suit was much like any other man wore in this time period...

Then she glanced up the stairway. The Doctor and Jenny were still talking about the night Missy had hijacked the party.

Then she looked back at Strax.

"What happened that night?" she asked him, "Do you remember what happened after the gas was released?"

His beady eyes lit up and his small mouth turned up into a smile as he nodded.

"I escorted you to the safety of your room."

And Clara felt as if her insides just dropped out, as if she had been riding a lift to a top floor and the whole thing had just suddenly and sharply plunged downwards...

"And then what?" she said in a hushed voice.

"And then, puny human, you _challenged_ me to a battle!"

She shook her head.

"Battle?"

"Your private parts and mine!" and Strax smiled, "It was a sound victory on the part of the Sontaran Empire."

And then she remembered.

" _Oh no!"_ she exclaimed, and stepped back from him, her hand to her mouth as she stared at the short potato headed dwarf in the butler suit.

"No we didn't... _we didn't._..I _couldn't_ , not with _you_!"

His smile faded as a look of hurt came to his eyes.

" _I feel sick!"_ Clara exclaimed.

The Doctor was already making his way down the stairs, after overhearing the conversation, and Jenny promising she would inform Vastra of the news.

"Clara, calm down -"

" _You can shut up!"_ she exclaimed, turning to the Doctor with her eyes wide with shock as her face paled, "Did you think it was him? Is that why you brought me back here?"

Strax looked from Clara to the Doctor, and clearly seemed uncomfortable now.

"It was enjoyable for both of us," he pointed out.

Clara looked away from him in disgust.

"Doctor, we're leaving. _Now!_ "

"But I really think it would help to clear the air if you and Strax -"

"There is no _me and Strax_!" she exclaimed, shooting another look of disgust at the Sontaran, "Me and him? You _must_ be kidding!"

Then she glared at Strax.

"Understand this," she said sharply, "What happened was, two people made a _huge_ mistake because of a drug! That's all. It will _never_ happen again, it shouldn't have happened in the first place!"

Then she made for the door.

The Doctor saw deep hurt in the eyes of the Sontaran butler.

"I'll talk to her," he said quietly, and then he hurried off to catch up with Clara, who wanted nothing more than to get back into the Tardis and never return to the house of Madame Vastra.

* * *

" _You knew!"_

As Clara yelled her accusation at the Doctor, her voice echoed around the console room.

"I didn't know," he told her, "But there are _very_ few species who can instantly concieve as fast as a Sontaran. Just because they are made in clone batches, it doesn't mean they can't manually reproduce. Over the years they've been genetically altered to ensure survival and reproduction of the species. _So unprotected sex with Strax_ -"

She looked at him in disgust.

" _Never say that again!"_

"So what _happened_ with Strax resulted in a conception. I'm also thinking that planet we visited where we ran into Missy is known for its fertility treatments. If Missy was desperate for a child she would have wanted one by me. I'm guessing she didn't get what she wanted, but must have scanned you when she bumped into you after the _thing_ with Strax, realised you were pregnant and arranged your collapse. She followed us to that planet and then took care of the rest. _She stole your baby_."

Clara stared at him.

"I don't have a baby, I never did!"

"Well, it's probably dead now anyway," he said quietly, "Sontarans and humans are _not_ designed to reproduce together - the chances of the conception happening with a human was one in several million and you would have miscarried later on any way."

 _Clara thought about it._

And that was when the Doctor noticed the look on her face, and knew at once that even if she didn't know it yet, she _did_ care what had happened to the Human-Sontaran hybrid...

"Missy thinks it's a baby _TimeLord_?" she asked.

"Think how she's going to react when she finds out its not," he replied darkly, and Clara felt a jolt inside that she couldn't explain.

"We need to go back to the planet, back to the medical centre and find out what's happened," he told her, "I'm guessing she's had the embryo put on a growth acceleration program – left it there to grow in an artificial womb. We need to get there before she does, because if it doesn't die naturally, she's going to kill it when she finds out its not the baby she wanted."

And then he threw a lever, taking the Tardis off through time and space, before Clara had a chance to speak out and change her mind.

* * *

Clara slipped into silence as the Tardis journeyed on towards it destination, and when it landed, the Doctor met her gaze and saw all trace of shock was gone from her eyes now. He didn't know what Clara would decide to do, but he was working on the assumption – because he wanted to be optimistic – that the child was still alive. If it was, he knew Clara well enough to know she would not turn her back on her own flesh and blood, not when he explained how special that hybrid was...

The Tardis landed outside the medical facility, and he went to the door first, lingering there as Clara hung back, still standing by the Tardis console.

"You should come with me," he reminded her, "Because one day when you look back on this, you might regret never seeing this child."

She walked over to him, although reluctance was plain in her eyes.

"I just don't know what to expect," she told him honestly.

The Doctor's gaze softened.

"If this child has survived it will be around five months old and ready to be born. The growth environment would have speeded up the process. Five months is the duration of a Sontaran pregnancy – not that Sontarans as a race care much for it as a clone race, but that _is_ the manual option... _I wonder._." he paused.

"What?" Clara asked, feeling nervous as she wondered what else was about to hit her that she was yet to realise. But this was not bad news - she saw hope in the Doctor's eyes.

"There's every chance that child has survived," he exclaimed, "I should have thought of this before! The growth chamber, an artificial environment, it would be perfect to sustain and nurture the growth of a human - Sontaran hybrid! Clara, your child will be the _only_ one of its kind in existence!"

She looked at him, feeling unsure how to take that news.

Then worry clouded his eyes as he thought of something else:

" _If_ Missy doesn't get there first. She probably asked to be summoned when the rapid growth process was over."

"She could be with the baby right now?"

He heard tension in her voice, and guessed that meant she cared on some level, which could only be a good thing.

"We should hurry," he said to her.

* * *

 _Missy was already with the baby._

She stood there as rage burned in her eyes and she looked to the unborn child inside the liquid filled container, and as it turned around and sucked its thumb, she glared at the nurse who had led her into the room known as growth chamber 161, the artificial place where what she had believed to be a Time Lord's child was rapidly growing inside a chamber of metal and glass..

"That _thing_ is not my child," she said sharply, "That's a Sontaran!"

The nurse looked at her apologetically.

"Well this is definitely the embryo you requested removed from your donor Miss Clara Oswald," she replied, "A Human-Sontaran hybrid child."

Missy thought about it, then she looked to the nurse in disgust.

"Are you kidding? Is this some kind of joke, because if it is, I'll vaporise you."

And she took out a small device that she brandished in her hand as her ice blue eyes shone cold.

"Where's the _real_ Time Lord kid?"

The nurse shook her head.

"This _is_ the child of Clara Oswald..." she stammered.

Missy looked to the unit containing a tiny Sontaran with human hands.

"No," she said under her breath, "No, this can't be...Clara and a Sontaran? No, I _can't_ accept this... _my_ child is part _Time Lord_!"

"Your child is Sontaran," the nurse replied.

Missy looked at the young woman thoughtfully.

 _"Say something nice,"_ she whispered icily.

"I'm sorry?" the Nurse offered, "I'm very sorry, but this _is_ your child."

Missy rolled her eyes.

"Wrong answer!" she snapped, and hit a button on the weapon, blasting the nurse out of existence.

Then she glared at the unborn child inside the artificial womb.

" _Ugly little bastard!"_ she said bitterly, and she kicked at the clear tubing that ran to the unit, and it cracked and as the liquid began to spill on to the floor, the artificial womb slowly drained of fluid as the unborn child within began to struggle, sensing danger.

* * *

Missy had teleported out by the time the Doctor and Clara heard the alarm and ran into the room to see the chamber draining, as a member of the nursing staff tried in vain to patch the seal on the broken tube.

"What happened?" the Doctor asked.

"You shouldn't be in here!" the woman said, and the Doctor flashed his psychic paper.

"Oh, sorry, Doctor," she added, assuming he was a member of staff, "I was passing by and heard the warning system going off – someone has shattered the fluid supply to artificial womb, why would someone do that?"

"I've a good idea who," he said, taking out his sonic screwdriver and running it along the wiring that held the lid of the unit sealed. As it popped open, Clara watched as he reached inside and lifted out the baby.

"This child," he said to the nurse, "Is hers. _Not_ the woman who had the embryo speed grown. Missy _stole_ this woman's child. This is his real mother, Clara Oswald. The boy was taken without her consent."

As he explained, he held the child while the nurse cut the umbilical cord.

And Clara just stood there, staring at the sight of the tiny Sontaran who had human hands but looked like a miniature version of Strax.

"The artificial womb was shattered," the Doctor said as he held the child and gently rubbed its broad back, trying to prompt a breath, "But he's five months – full term by Sontaran standard, ready to be born..."

Then he passed the child to the nurse, who wrapped him in a blanket.

" _Not breathing,"_ he said quietly as he turned away from Clara.

The nurse took the child quickly from the room.

Then the Doctor turned to Clara, and he saw a shocked look on her face.

" _He didn't cry."_

"No," the Doctor said as he stepped closer to her.

Clara looked up him.

"He was pale and he wasn't moving."

The Doctor put his hands on her shoulders.

"I know," he said gently, and his hearts felt as if they were breaking as Clara started to tremble.

" _He wasn't moving,"_ she whispered as her eyes filled with tears, _"He didn't cry..."_

And then a sound carried from the next room, cutting sharply through the silence as the baby gave out a loud and healthy yell.

The look in Clara's eyes changed from one of utter loss to one of joy, and the Doctor blinked away tears that blurred his own vision as he shared her joy.

"Clara, that was your baby! He's okay!"

She was laughing and crying at the same time as he drew her into his arms and hugged her, and then as the nurse returned, carrying a now very lively and alert little Sontaran child, he let go of Clara and stepped back.

"I think he wants to meet his mum," the nurse said, and as the Doctor looked on, Clara took the baby who was wrapped in a blanket into her arms, and as she held him, tears of joy ran down her face.

"Hello," she said softly, and the baby boy looked up at her, smiling as his eyes locked with hers and the unmistakable process of bonding began.

The Doctor stood back, saying nothing as he watched Clara holding her son, and silently hoped her joy at his survival would mean perhaps Clara would want this child after all - maybe she had yet to realise how special he was as a hybrid, but she already seemed to be understanding how special he was in the way that mattered most – she was forming a bond with him because she knew he was her son...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The Doctor didn't want to break the moment, but as the baby cried and Clara comforted him, the nurse reminded her he needed feeding, and Clara looked utterly lost.

"I don't have any milk," she said.

It was then the Doctor stepped closer and spoke to her softly, hoping she wouldn't be too freaked out by what he was about to suggest.

"This child is Sontaran and needs Sontaran milk- he could have had yours because you're his mother, the biological link would have tolerated that – but he would be better fed by a Sontaran."

She looked at him, utterly confused.

"I don't see any Sontarans around here, let alone Sontaran mothers!"

"No, that's not what I meant," he said to her, "Strax can feed the baby. He once told me he can make vast quantities of milk...with his kind, the male of the species can also feed their young."

She blinked.

He waited for it.

The wait was a short one.

" _That's disgusting!"_ she exclaimed.

"No, its natural for a Sontaran," he replied, "And your baby needs milk."

The child in her arms cried again, and Clara felt as helpless as she felt empty of the ability to feed her child.

"Can't he have powdered milk?" she asked.

"I wouldn't even want to chance human breast milk from a donor," he replied, "This child is a hybrid. We need to play it as safe as we can."

She cradled the child, then looked up at the Doctor.

"Okay," she said quietly, "Let's go back to Madame Vastra's."

* * *

A short while later, Clara stood in the console room of the Tardis, cradling her half alien child as the Tardis made a smooth and steady journey back through time and space.

Suddenly Clara was aware the Doctor was watching her, and she turned her head and looked at him.

"What?" she asked him, "Is it so strange to see me with a child, or just weird that it's not a human child? Because I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing yet..."

The look in his eyes softened.

"I was just thinking, that dress you're wearing...you've been wearing it since we last came back from Vastra's...you were wearing one much like that the first time I met my Impossible Girl in my former life. And by the way, it's not weird, Clara. It's beautiful to see you holding your child, your very special child."

She smiled as she cast him a knowing look and the baby grasped at her finger.

"You don't need to remind me he's special. Every parent thinks their child is special."

Then she looked down at the baby, the little Sontaran, a miniature Strax - and as she looked back to the Doctor, he saw uncertainty in her gaze.

"I really didn't want to do this. It's bad enough we ... _went_ together. I don't want him to know about the baby."

"Why?" he asked, "Don't you think he ought to know? He's the father, it's the right thing to do."

As Clara held the baby warm in her arms, her eyes clouded with sorrow.

"This baby is Sontaran, like his father. He needs to be with his father. I don't want to let him go."

The Doctor left the console and went over to her, looking at her kindly.

"No one is saying you have to hand the baby over! Besides, you couldn't leave Strax to bring him up - think of the influence he would be with his tales of the _mighty_ Sontaran Empire!"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Plenty!" the Doctor exclaimed, "If you left the child with Strax, he would bring him up to idolise his roots, by the time he's older and wanting to rebel,he'll be off to join the Sontaran army! And then what? Your son killed, when his ship gets blown up, welcoming a warrior death in battle?"

Clara flinched at the images his suggestion had brought to mind.

"You're right," she said, "I don't want that to happen."

"Good," the Doctor replied as he looked down at the baby Sontaran and smiled as he felt a fatherly bond, and then he looked into Clara's eyes once more.

"Perhaps it _migh_ t be for the best if we bring the child up together. I mean, Strax probably won't want you _and_ a baby – this is going to be a shock – but it's only fair that he knows, so he has the choice to stay in touch. If that's okay with you, if that's what you would like to happen, Clara. I would love the chance to be a father to this child."

Clara smiled.

"I think you will be great dad," she said, "I mean it, you really will! You'll be the best!"

Then his smile faded as he remembered nothing was set in stone - he had no way of knowing _how_ Strax would react to the news that he was a father...

"We'll see," he replied, "I know what I'd like to happen, but we need to see Strax first. I want everyone to be happy about what ever arrangement we make."

"So do I," she agreed, and then the Tardis landed, and Clara held her child close and warm as she and the Doctor stepped out once again into a Victorian street.

* * *

"Sorry," the Doctor said to Clara as they walked towards their destination - they were at a considerable distance from the house of Madame Vastra, "I meant to land closer. At least it's not a cold day..." He glanced at the baby in her arms. Clara was holding him very close, bundled up against a curious world who would stare at his alien features.

"He's fine," Clara said, smiling as she saw the fatherly look on the Doctor's face, "He just needs milk...Doctor, do you realise people passing us by must think we're a family?"

They exchanged a glance, and in that moment, they both understood what it meant.

"Good," the Doctor replied, and it warmed her heart to hear such pride in his voice.

" _Doctor."_

They both stopped walking.

The Doctor stared at the sight of Missy, who was minus her hat, her usually immaculate make up was smudged and her eyes were red from crying.

Clara was staring at her too, but far from the wary look shot by the Doctor, hers was one of pure rage as she recalled the smashed line to artificial womb...

"What do you want?" the Doctor said coldly, and Missy stepped closer, and started to weep.

" _Doctor, please! Hear me out!"_

He walked on and so did Clara.

"Please!" Missy said again as she hurried to catch up with them.

Clara kept her eyes fixed on the house of Madame Vastra.

" _Get rid of her. I'm serious, Doctor. She could have killed my baby. I seriously want to hurt her. Get rid of her!"_

"Just wait! Hear me out!" Missy begged in desperation.

Clara stopped walking as Missy stood in front of her, and she held her baby tighter.

"You're lucky I have my child in my arms," she warned her, "because if I didn't..."

"Enough!" the Doctor said, holding his hand up, hoping to diffuse the situation quickly because he knew there was nothing worse than an angry mother protecting her young – Missy _was_ lucky Clara was holding the baby, because she had a look in her eyes like a lioness about to kill a creature she saw as a threat to her cub...

"What do you want?" he asked Missy, and she started to cry again.

Then the child in Clara's arms began to wail for food, and Clara shot the Doctor a look of impatience.

"I'm going on ahead. This baby needs milk! Oh, why isn't there a supermarket somewhere in the galaxy that sells powdered Sontaran milk?"

Then she was walking off towards Vastra's house.

* * *

The Doctor looked angrily to Missy.

"Get out of my sight!" he warned her, "If Clara didn't have the baby with her I swear I'd -"

"Oh yes, it's okay for her!" she said bitterly as more mascara coloured tears ran down her face, "Clara and her ugly little Sontaran monster! "

The Doctor's eyes blazed with anger.

"You did a terrible thing!" he said sharply, and she gave a gasp as he grabbed her roughly by her arm and shoved her up against a wall, an act which on the rough Streets of Victorian England, barely drew a glance from passers by...

"Let me explain!" she begged.

His grip tightened as he met her gaze with a look of pure fury.

"You stole her baby and when you found out it wasn't mine you cracked the fluid line to the artificial womb! If that child hadn't been full term you would have killed him!"

Tears filed her eyes again.

"I knew it was full term! Good for her, well done Clara, she gets what she wants!"

Missy was making no sense.

"She didn't know, she had no memory of her and Strax!"

"But she still gets what she wants, what _I_ want," Missy replied, and then she gave another sob.

The look in her eyes was no where close to the usual malice that glittered within, there was something else, something deep and painful and so hard to bear he could feel it radiating from her...

"What are you talking about?" he demanded.

Missy looked into his eyes.

" _I stole the baby because I lost my own!"_

The Doctor's grip on her arm loosened.

"No, you couldn't have been pregnant..."

"I'd had fertility treatment prior to our encounter, to ensure a successful conception," she said tearfully, "I was taking medication to speed up the process... I carried your child for a matter of days before I lost it...I had a child with you, we are the last of our kind and I had a child and then it was gone!"

" _NO!"_ he yelled, backing off from her, _"Shut up, I'm not listening!"_

"But it's true!"

" _No!"_ he yelled again, and then he turned away and began to walk in the direction of Vastra's house, wishing he could block out the sound of Missy's tearful voice as she called to him, following, as she begged him to believe her...

* * *

As the door opened and Jenny and Vastra saw Clara standing on the doorstep, they both looked to her with such kindness that Clara wanted to cry, but she didn't, instead her baby started crying, and Vastra held out her arms.

"May I hold this very special baby?" she asked, and Clara nodded, carefully handed the baby to Madame Vastra, and then she stepped inside, and Jenny closed the door behind them.

"Fetch Strax," Vastra said and her wife nodded, and then went off down the hallway.

"Come through to the parlour," Vastra said, and as she walked, she looked down at the child,and then back at Clara as she smiled.

"I expect the Doctor has told you how difficult it is for a human and a Sontaran to breed - sorry, to _concieve_ ," she said to her.

"Yes he did," she replied, and as they entered the parlour where the room was warm and welcoming and a fire blazed in the hearth, Vastra sat on the sofa with the child in her arms, and Clara sat beside her.

"I can't imagine how Strax will take the news,"Clara said, "But the Doctor told me we had to bring the child back here because he needs Sontaran milk."

Vastra smiled.

" _Which is widely available in supermarkets throughout the galaxy,"_ she replied. "But I _do_ agree with the Doctor – the father _does_ have a right to know."

For a moment a look of annoyance flashed in Clara's eyes, and then it was gone.

"And he's quite right, of course," she agreed quietly.

"He sent us a message on the way back," Vastra told her, "We had time to explain to Strax. The Doctor didn't tell you. He just wanted to be sure the news travelled ahead of you. Strax took the news well. Very calmly, in fact."

"Where is he now?" Clara asked.

" _I have been preparing for your arrival,"_ Strax announced,and then he walked up to Clara and handed her a bottle of warm milk. He looked to the child in Vastra's arms, briefly smiled and then watched as she carefully handed the child back to Clara, who began to feed her hungry baby for the first time.

"You can hold him when he's been fed," Clara said, meeting his gaze awkwardly.

Strax looked to the child, then noticed the way his human hands gripped the bottle.

"I see he has inherited some human traits," he remarked in disgust, "Not at all desirable...puny human genetics have found their way into the might of the Sontaran empire!"

And then the look in his eyes warmed fondly as he watched his son feeding.

"I am proud," he stated, and smiled at Clara.

She briefly smiled back, then continued to feed her son.

"I have expressed vast quantities of milk for him," Strax informed her, "It is refrigerated and can easily be warmed before he consumes it... He is very small."

And he smiled again.

"And you are looking well, Clara."

"Of course I am," she replied, "He was born today but I was on the other side of the room watching the Doctor rescue him from a broken tank!"

"I should like to obliterate Missy," he said bitterly, "I have learned of her attempt on the life of our son!"

Clara looked up at him:

 _Our son._

 _Yes, he wanted that child._

 _He wanted very much to be a father to him._

 _She hadn't seen that coming at all..._

Then there was a knock at the door.

"I shall now do my duty," Strax said, and left the room to greet the caller.

Then Jenny, who had briefly left them, rejoined them as she brought in tea and set it down on the table.

"Thank you my dear," said Vastra, and the couple exchanged a look of deepest love.

The baby was still drinking the milk, and the bottle was almost empty.

"You're feeding well," Clara said, stroking the baby Sontaran's cheek as he continued to feed.

And then the atmosphere was darkened by raised voices down the hallway.

" _No one is getting obliterated!"_ the Doctor shouted, _"Shut up, Strax - and you shut up too, Missy!"_

The three women exchanged a glance.

" _Missy?"_ Clara said in alarm, _"Why would he bring her back here?"_

* * *

As Strax walked into the room followed by the Doctor and Missy, Vastra stood up.

"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded angrily, "Why have you brought this vile woman into my home?"

But the Doctor turned his attention to Clara, ignoring Vastra's words.

"Clara," the Doctor said, "I need to speak with you alone."

Then as she handed the baby to Vastra and got up, the Doctor shot a look to Strax.

"Watch Missy. By that I mean, see to it she sits down and shuts up. No obliterating anyone, okay?"

The Sontaran shot him a sour look, then glared at Missy as she sat down on an armchair and wiped away her tears.

* * *

Clara followed the Doctor out of the room, and then he closed the door behind them.

She looked at him impatiently.

"I know Strax will protect our son but I still don't like the idea of Missy in there with him! What's this about?"

It was then she noticed the look in the Doctor's eyes. He seemed devastated.

What's happened?"

Now her tone had changed to one of concern.

" _Missy was pregnant. It was mine, she lost the baby."_

"No, she has to be lying."

"She's not. I can feel her pain. She's _not_ lying, Clara. And she is broken by this. She lost my child and she's _broken_! I need to make sure she's going to be okay. I'm going to leave for a while, and take her with me. I'd rather help her put herself back together than have her out there somewhere and even more unhinged than she used to be, because of a personal tragedy."

"And what about me, what about us and everything you said -"

"Clara, I've seen Strax. He wants to be a father and you can use this time to allow him to do that. And _don't_ be so quick to push him away - there may come a day when you regret that choice."

Clara shook her head as she shot him a look of disbelief.

"How can you say that?"

He paused for thought, then lowered his voice as he spelled out the facts:

"It always depended on how Strax reacted. And he wants to be in his child's life. He's a Sontaran, with a Sontaran life span. Your son has a human life span. While it's true that Vastra resurrected him, it's no guarantee of a long life. Strax will eventually start to suffer the effects of the process breaking down. The bottom line is, he may not live to see his son grow up. Make the most of the time you have with him. For some species, life can be much shorter than others."

Clara was silent for a moment as she wondered why his words had such an impact. It wasn't as if she was in _love_ with Strax...Although it was true she felt strangely closer to him now the baby had come along...

"I'm going to take Missy away from here, and I will return," the Doctor promised her, "So please Clara, make the most of this opportunity to be a real family with Strax and the baby, at least until I come back. Can you try to do that for me?"

She frowned as she thought about it, and then she nodded.

"But you won't be gone long?"

"Not too long," the Doctor replied, and then he opened the door and he went back into the parlour, and Clara followed, feeling as if life had suddenly turned upside down as she struggled to make sense of the Doctor's suggestion. _Suddenly it felt like nothing made sense any more..._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

" _Tell me the truth."_

The Doctor had spoken darkly, he was in no mood for Missy's games, not after leaving Clara back in Victorian England with her baby when so much was still to be decided. But Missy's confession had affected him, and he wanted to help her – _if_ she was telling the truth. They were in the Tardis now, the Earth was in the distance and he had her where he wanted her – alone, with him, just Time Lord and rival, with no where for Missy to run to any more...

"I _did_ tell you the truth!"

As she spoke, the Doctor was walking over to her and Missy stepped away, and her back hit the wall. The jolt of it seemed to jar her to her bones, only serving to emphasise how shattered she was.

And that was _all_ that was saving her from his wrath as he recalled the cracked tube and the leaking fluid in that artificial womb as Clara's baby had helplessly struggled...

He reached out and held her face in his hands, gripping a little too roughly as he forced her to meet his gaze. And she looked scared...

"I could travel the stars with you," he said in a low voice, "Just you and me and yes perhaps, who knows? We could have made little Time Lords together. If it had been anyone but _you_ I would have welcomed the chance to keep my race going, to make more of us...But _not_ with you. Not after all the hurt and the pain you've caused. You even caused my death, you caused regeneration, am I supposed to forget that? I had other lives, and I wanted to live out those lives! _I blame you for so much_."

"We could let the past go. I could have my friend back -"

Her words sounded halfway between desperate and pathetic.

"Our childhood was over a long time ago. Our friendship died when you chose to become what you did!"

She looked at him pleadingly.

"And this new body, this new start for me is like a rebirth!"

He laughed as he let go of her, but she didn't trust the look of smouldering anger in his eyes, and stayed against the wall.

"And what a great start it was for you, Missy! Think of all the _harm_ you've caused since!"

"And now I want things to be different. I told you, I want peace between us!"

His pale blue eyes fixed on her gaze as he spoke honestly.

"Yes Missy, that can be done. Peace would be good for the whole of the universe but everything else between us is dead, including every possibility of togetherness you have dreamt up in your sick mind!"

"And you can change that for me! We could be so good together -"

" _Shut up Missy, you know it's not happening!"_

She blinked away tears. Her hand was closing around a device, and he snatched it from her, threw it to the ground and stamped on it over and over until the metal split and the wiring snapped.

"I prefer to think you were planning to teleport out instead of vaporising me - but neither will happen now."

Missy's stunned expression was not faked. She was genuinely shocked at his rage.

"But what about the baby?"

"It's gone," he replied, "You need to accept that, and there won't be another. You planned this whole thing out – you primed your body to guarantee a successful conception, you spiked the air with an alien gas that made me defenceless against you to ensure that conception would take place. You did all of this without my knowledge or consent so forgive me for the fact that I have _no_ sympathy because _your_ pregnancy failed! That's the one thing you didn't allow for: _The possibility of something going wrong afterwards._ You were too arrogant to even _think_ for a moment that after all that careful planning the child you schemed to get could be lost!"

Missy was genuinely shocked at his harsh words.

" _But it was our child!"_

"No," the Doctor replied, and now any trace of shock he had felt on hearing the news was gone,"No Missy," he told her firmly, "Any child conceived by you had a lucky escape not to be born. The universe doesn't need another Missy or Master out there hell bent on destruction and chaos! And no flesh and blood of _mine_ would take part in any scheme of yours! Know that now and remember it!"

Missy straightened up, gathering her thoughts as she felt weakened by his harsh words, but she was still strong enough to stop weeping at last.

"Every war must come to an end. What better way than to form an alliance with you?"

She stepped closer and fell to her knees and looked up at him.

 _"I will give you sons to build a new Gallifrey! Doctor, if it could be, I would accept my enslavement, I would allow you to break my will and I would serve you forever! I gave an army to you, does that not speak of my true feelings?"_

He looked down at her.

"Yes it does," he said honestly, "You gave an _army_ to a man of _peace_ who _despises war_!"

She gently gripped the bottom of his scarlet lined jacket as she looked up at him.

" _I am begging you!"_

He brushed off her grip and stepped back, went over to the console and pressed some buttons and then turned back to face her.

Missy was still on her knees, and as he glanced back at the console and saw _exactly_ what he expected to see on the monitor, he turned back to her and shook his head.

"I'm returning you to Victorian England. I will take you to your Tardis and you will leave. And if I ever see you again, as much as killing disgusts me, I _will_ destroy you, because I've had enough of this constant battle between us. Do we understand each other?"

Missy's eyes reflected hurt and rage as she got up from the floor.

"You'd _kill_ me? I don't think you have it in you, Doctor!"

He paused for a moment and then he nodded. As he spoke again his voice was much calmer, because he had pulled back now on his rage.

"You're probably right, I wouldn't kill you unless I had to. The reason for that is, because I _pity_ you. I really do think you're pathetic!"

Her jaw dropped.

She stared at him, and then she struggled to find her words.

"I lost your baby!" she said sharply, "It was yours!"

"No, you didn't," he replied as he paused to key in landing co ordinates, "I just ran a scan to check you for pregnancy hormones, there would be some left after such a recent event as a miscarriage. And you know what the read out came back as? _You were never pregnant!_ That's the reason why you stole Clara's baby! You thought it was mine, so it was the next best thing to forcing _me_ to do the job for you!"

Missy glared at him.

"And you couldn't even manage _that_ on the night, could you!" she said spitefully.

"Recreational gas has always had that effect on me. I was hoping I was right, and now I know I am – you left in a temper because you didn't get what you wanted. I can't tell you how pleased I am to know the truth. You almost had me Missy, _almost_. Until the Tardis scanner set the record straight."

Then as the Tardis landed he snapped his fingers and the doors flew open.

" _Get out!"_ he said bitterly.

* * *

Clara had spent the afternoon with Vastra and Jenny, then they had left the room to give her some time alone with Strax. She watched as he held the sleepy, milk-filled child and looked at him thoughtfully.

"We need to make some choices," she said to him, "I travel with the Doctor and yes I can take him with me but you have a right to be with him too. I need to know what you want to happen, because I can't make this choice on my own."

Strax was still looking down at the child in his arms.

"He is a human hybrid. He would never be fully accepted by the Sontaran Empire. He will never be a warrior."

"Good!" Clara exclaimed, and Strax glared at her.

"It would be an honour for him to be a part of the mighty empire."

"No," she replied, "He's half human. And he doesn't have to grow up to be a warrior. He could grow up to be anything he wanted to be – even a butler like you."

And as he scowled, she smiled, and the look in his eyes softened as he smiled back at her.

"I am proud," he said again, "My child, my son..."

Clara thought on all the Doctor had told her, and hated to bring up the subject, but knew she had to do it.

"Is it right that you may not live for many years?"

"I was resurrected by Madame Vastra. Any deterioration in the process can be repaired. I could live another decade,or perhaps another fifty years- it can not accurately be predicted."

"So what ever you decide, I'm going to bear that in mind," Clara told him, "I want you to see him as often as you can. Me and the Doctor can stop by and we can sometimes leave him with you and then come back for him. We can share his upbringing."

Strax looked at her.

"What do you think?" she asked, and her heart ached as she thought of the Doctor and all he had said about how he longed to be a father to her child.

Strax nodded.

"The arrangement is amicable," he replied, and then he smiled, and so did Clara as she discreetly glanced to the clock on the shelf and hoped the Doctor would be returning soon.

* * *

The Doctor had not thought of Clara and the baby until he had watched Missy go into her Tardis, then he had waited for her ship to leave, and once it was gone, he went back to his own Tardis, feeling nervous as he wondered what the outcome would be when he went back to see Clara:

 _Babies changed a lot._

 _They changed perspective not only for him, but for Clara and Strax, too..._

But the Doctor knew what he wanted most of all, deep down in his twin hearts:

He was getting older now, and as much as he loved running and chasing after monsters and flirting with danger, he had known for a while that with this new regeneration his need to be a father had woken sharply, even more so as his feelings for Clara had grown deeper. It didn't matter the child was not his, he had a strong paternal need to be a father to her son, and he knew if Clara had changed her mind he would take it very badly...

He spent another hour in the Tardis, getting a few things ready just in case the chance was still there that she would want to raise the baby with him, and then he left and headed for Vastra's house, feeling far more nervous than he cared to show as he finally reached the house and rang the bell.

* * *

When the door opened, it was Vastra who stood there, and she smiled warmly.

"I take it your quick return may indicate your anxiety over a certain situation?" she said in a low voice.

The Doctor knew he couldn't hide it any more, he felt like a nervous wreck...

"Do I need to be? Is Clara staying here to raise the child?"

Vastra was about to reply when Clara came to the door, she thanked Jenny for a bag that contained bottles of milk, and then she handed them to the Doctor.

"We'll need to put these in the fridge when we get back to the Tardis," she told him.

She saw the look of joy in his eyes and smiled, then looked away, not wanting to make the job harder for him as he struggled to hold back tears of relief.

Then Strax stepped forward, and his son was in his arms.

"We have reached an agreement," he said to the Doctor, "We will share the raising of the child. So I look forward to your next visit, Doctor."

"So do I," the Doctor said warmly.

Then Strax looked down at his son.

"I have considered his _curse_ of human genetics mixing with the mighty Sontaran race and identified him accordingly. I have named him Jinx," he paused, smiling as his eyes shone with pride, "Return him soon, Clara Oswald."

Then he handed her the baby.

"We won't be gone for long," she said fondly to Strax, and then she leant closer to him, and Strax leant back, and she leant close again, and the confused Sontaran ducked out of her way a second time.

"I'm saying goodbye!" she exclaimed, and as he looked at her in bewilderment, she finally achieved what she had set out to do, and kissed his cheek.

* * *

A short while later, the Doctor and Clara were walking back to the Tardis. Clara glanced at the Doctor, and then she laughed.

"You're doing it again!"

"Doing what?"

"Smiling," she told him, "You look at me, you look at the baby, and then you keep on walking with a smile on your face!"

And his smile got bigger.

"I know!" he said, and then they reached the Tardis and went inside.

The Doctor wasted no time leaving the planet behind, and once the Tardis was in flight, he took the bottles to the kitchen to store the milk in the fridge, then he went back down the corridor and called to Clara.

He waited for her by a doorway, and when she joined him with the baby in her arms, there was a sparkle in his eyes.

"I didn't know what you might have decided while I was gone," he said to her, "Because babies change so much and I didn't know if I ought to assume you would be coming back, but just in case you did I made a few changes to a spare room...just a few...I hope you like it."

And he opened the door and she stepped inside.

* * *

Clara looked around the vast room where stars reflected in soft colours and rainbows decorated the walls. One side of the room was full of toys, the other had a magnificent cradle decorated in the language of Gallifrey.

She looked about the room in surprise.

"A _few_ changes? This is a nursery! And it's lovely!"

She turned to him, their eyes met and then he kissed her.

"I'm glad you like it," he said, and as Clara handed the baby to him, he held him in his arms and spoke softly to him as he walked over to the cradle.

"Yes, I know, you're right," he was saying to the child, and Clara stood beside him as he stood over the cradle, watching with interest.

"I can speak baby," the Doctor told her proudly, "Jinx says he likes his room. And he wants to know who I am..."

"You'd better tell him, then," Clara replied as suddenly the three of them so close together seemed to feel like the warm, safe bubble made of love that could only come from _family._

The Doctor looked down at the baby Sontaran as he spoke softly to him.

" _I know I look nothing like you, but that's because your father is the man you just met, who named you. But I'm your other father. I'm the one you call Daddy."_

Then he laid the child in the cradle and watched as Clara tucked him in, then as she rocked the cradle, the tiny baby closed his eyes and drifted into a deep sleep.

"We should leave him to sleep for a while," she said to him, and the Doctor nodded.

"Good idea. And don't worry about him – every room now has a baby monitor."

"You've thought of everything!" Clara said in surprise as they left the nursery and walked back towards the console room.

"Yes, I have," the Doctor agreed, then they returned to the console room, where the Doctor checked the controls, and as he was doing that, Clara joined him.

"You really don't mind that he's not yours, do you?"

"Of course not. It makes no difference to me. Although I'm hoping the next one we have will be mine."

And then he turned his head and looked at her.

She smiled.

"It definitely will be. I love you, Doctor."

"I love you too," he replied, and then he finished checking the controls.

Then as he noticed Clara had her back to him, he couldn't hold it in any more, and as hard as it was for the man who was not a hugger to do it, he reached out, stiffly wrapping his arms around her, surprising her with a hug that soon relaxed as he pulled her closer. She turned around to face him and his arms were still around her waist, and she saw joy shining in his eyes.

 _"We're a family!"_ he said excitedly.

 _"I know!"_ she said joyfully, and then he pulled her closer, and they kissed, and they were still kissing as the Tardis continued on its journey, as the Doctor and Clara celebrated their love and all that it meant to be a family at last.

End


End file.
